Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
