I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
All I want is dick and wine.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
