It's like God shit irony all over that family
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
