I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
