im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Bring me that man meat
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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