Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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