Don't you send me to vm
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
