My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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