I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's rum buckets o'clock
so much tequila, so little girl.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
