Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
