drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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