I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
