if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
