you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
