Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
