Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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