turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
