and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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