can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
