I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it because I queefed?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
