His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you would pick up someone in the library
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
