don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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