You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
