so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
