She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this will be a night to untag.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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