she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
