How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
