Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
