Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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