a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
