omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
