She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
