i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
