That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it's like heaven, but drunker
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can I color on your dick again?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
