he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
