Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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