the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
