i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
