i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
