she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
