smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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