i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need to calm my uterus...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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