so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
