I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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