What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
