If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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