you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think people are normalizing furries
we're so committed to being not committed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
