You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
