this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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