doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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