True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
