Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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