its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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